


if you are happy, if you can smile

by towokuwusatsuwu



Category: Kamen Rider Ghost, 宇宙戦隊キュウレンジャー | Uchu Sentai Kyuranger
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotions, F/F, Introspection, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12900075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: Echidna no longer feels nothing, and Akari would have her remember how to feel everything.





	if you are happy, if you can smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kandrona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kandrona/gifts).



She had known the terrible power of Jark Matter for nearly all of her life, and her nearest brush with death had left her with the knowledge that unless they were stopped, all of her people would suffer this fate. They had bound their own tumultuous emotions in an effort to protect the peace and beauty of their planet, almost destroyed by their own hands and selfish desires.

Echidna knows this history well, had been taught it all of her life, and so when she had been sent to go after her wayward friend and to take him from the pathway of evil, she had gone without a second thought. Naga Ray had left their planet long ago, and though she had accepted that it was his fate to leave and always had been, she had been strangely hurt to never see his face again. The two of them had grown up together, after all; he was as much a part of her world as her own family was.

The Jark Matter transmissions had made it clear that Naga had long since lost whatever way he was attempting to go, and volunteers had been requested. Echidna had gone alone, determined to do whatever she had to in order to stop him. After all, their lives all depended on it.

She knew that she might die in the process. Naga had gained dangerous power with his emotions fully unleashed, and she knew what her people were capable of when their full might was bestowed upon them. And still she had never expected to have her own hand forcing her gun to her head, had never expected Naga’s twisted smile as he watched her prepare to end her own life. She had never expected a former friend could look at her that way.

_ It wasn’t really him, _ she reminds herself as she tries to focus on the controls in front of her, her scrapes and wounds and bruises still aching.  _ The real Naga was nothing like that. _

This much is true. His friends had been able to free him from the torment that Akyanba had enclosed him in, and Naga was every bit as kind as she remembers, and warmer still.

It did nothing to convince her, but she left him and planned to return home just the same, no longer interested in her original goal of ending his life before he could end their planet.

In the calm and quiet of space, though, she is alone with her thoughts and her mind returns again and again to the sensation of her muscles moving in alien ways against her will. The absolute terror that had seized her body all the way through, the rapid beating of her heart against her ribcage, the dryness in her mouth, the tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

Fear. She understands the concept of fear though her people had made a great effort that she would never feel such an emotion. But Echidna is not stupid, and she is not slow; her intelligence and her combat skills had been what encouraged her people to send her on her own. Even if she had never experienced fear before that moment, she knew that was it.

There had been nothing enjoyable about that experience, either. She knew as well as any other living being that her life would come to an inevitable end, and there would be nothing to lengthen her lifespan. It was a natural part of life, that living beings would die, and more would be born, and so on and so forth. But in the moment where she stood across from Naga after exhausting herself trying to fight him… There was nothing natural about that. There was nothing normal or expected about her former best friend attempting to make her kill herself.

In the quiet and the dark of space, Echidna can admit to herself that in that moment, she would have done anything to survive. In this private space where she is alone with herself and her thoughts, she can almost understand how Naga could leave their home in a desire to find more of those emotions. Because under the fear of what felt like certain death, Echidna had never felt more vibrantly and desperately alive in her entire life. Is this what Naga has worked so hard for?

She abandons her controls for just a moment, pressing her fingers to her temples at the beginnings of an aching headache behind her eyes. When she had been asked to go after Naga, she had been fine with it. She understood, but this is something she cannot wrap her head around no matter how hard she tries. Her emotions had been suppressed from the moment she was born, so how could she have felt so keenly and strongly in bare seconds?

Perhaps when she goes home, she can learn more about herself and her planet’s history. Something to reaffirm that she made the right choice living this life to the letter.

And then her ship rocks violently, and she grips the controls, eyes scanning the screens in front of her wildly. It only takes her a moment to see the Jark Matter ships following her, their lasers bright darts through the dark of the space sky, and her heart sticks firmly in her throat again.

It takes her a moment to school her thoughts so she can get the ship fully under control, to speed through open space to try to find an escape route. There is nothing out here but the open sky and her planet is far from here; she has no help out here. A soft curse leaves her lips in a hiss and she accelerates more quickly. There has to be some way for her to escape from here, somewhere she can go in order to find a moment of respite from this attack.

Something just out of the corner of her vision catches her eye, and her breath sticks in her throat again, threatening to suffocate her. The center of it is blacker than anything she has ever seen, the swirling purple edges sucking everything nearby inside. A black hole, and from the looks of it, the only thing out here that might offer her a chance.

_ There is a ninety-nine percent chance I cannot return, _ she thinks.

Her ship rocks again with the force of another blast, the lights around her flashing red, signalling that her ship has been damaged. Echidna presses her fingers to her eyes, trying to center herself, telling herself not to panic— And when has she ever panicked before now?

_ I might not be able to get home, _ she thinks, and then,  _ but Naga hasn’t gone back… _

Her hands dart back toward the controls and she directs her ship to the black hole without pause. Naga had never gone back home, and Naga’s slowly-developing emotions had not destroyed him and all of those he called his friends. Jark Matter had tried to do that, and Jark Matter will take her life if she lets them and does nothing about it. When her ship shudders, trying to resist the pull of the black hole, she forces the controls forward anyway. She either takes this chance and risks not coming home, or she dies a solitary death.

She doesn’t want to die. This outweighs all of her other thoughts and fears and Echidna will have to inspect this later, when she is alone and has a chance to figure out what has happened to her. She wants to live, is young and has plenty of time stretching out in front of her if only she grasps it between her fingers and refuses to let it go. Naga had chosen a life fitting for him, and maybe it is finally time for her to do the same.

* * *

Akari Tsukimura spends almost as much time in the Ganma world as she does the human world these days; both of them have become an inseparable part of her, something she thought might happen when she realized just how much she enjoyed the Ganma world and its people. It helps that they have a treasure trove of scientific advances and discoveries at their fingertips, and she wants to explore everything she can, pick apart each and every step forward they have taken to figure out just how they did it. It also helps that Queen Alia enjoys her company and gives her free reign to research as she wishes. Akari supposes the Alia must feel indebted to her after how hard she worked to bring back the blue sky of the Ganma world and the atmosphere that would not be poison to the people who lived here.

But today is not a day for research. Today is a day for rest and relaxation, and as she walks along the familiar pathways with the sun glowing brightly above her, she reflects on the years of effort that have gone into rebuilding the Ganma world. They’re stubborn and refuse to let their world be turned to dust around them, and she admires them for that.

Something massive passes over the sun, large enough to temporarily shield Akari in shadow before it passes over her head. She shields her eyes with her hand and squints, picks out the black shape in the sky… And watches as it hurdles toward the earth. Her lips part in a silent sound, and then she starts sprinting, desperate to catch up with it.

The Great Eye had been an alien presence in and of herself, at least according to Takeru, and Akari has no reason not to believe him. The Ganma themselves might appear human, but their power and ability suggests otherwise. So this… This might be the last missing piece Akari needs.

She runs until the bottoms of her feet ache and tendrils of hair stick to her face from sweat, stopping only once when she hears the ship smash into the ground.

The space the ship lands is at least an open field not yet touched by the people and Akari says a prayer of thanks for this as she takes off through the grass that tickles the lower half of her legs exposed by her shorts. A hulking piece of metal sits cocked oddly in the grass, smoke billowing from some parts of it. Even without knowing what it is or what it came from, Akari can easily pick out details here and there, the intelligent design of what has to be a spaceship, and before she can get excited, she freezes.  _ Is someone still inside? _

Her question is answered a moment later when what appears to be a door in the side of the ship opens and someone tumbles out, all silver clothing and long, pale hair. They fall to the grass and remain there in a heap, and Akari gasps, clapping her hand to her mouth.

_ Don’t just stand here and let them die! _ She snaps at herself, and it’s enough to make her move again, her legs aching from the sprinting. When she’s finally close enough, she falls to her knees, reaching for the person so still on the ground, fingers closing around their arm.

She knows little about interstellar travel other than what she had been able to piece together from what she had learned from the Ganma, and the Great Eye had not needed a ship to travel through space. She had simply flown off, according to Takeru, and yet again, Akari has no reason not to believe him. Her eyes dart over the expanse of the ship, her mouth dry at the sight of the obvious dents and scrape in the metal. Something had attacked this ship, something probably looking to take it down. The pilot either landed in emergency— Or crashed.

Akari is careful as she turns the pilot over onto their back, and the still face of a young woman is what she finds beneath the long tendrils of silver hair that she brushes back with careful fingers. There are cuts and scrapes on her pretty face, and there are tears in the fabric of her complicated ensemble that suggest she was either injured in her ship or before. Maybe she had been running from who attacked her. Akari doesn’t like the thought of that and shakes it away, lifting the woman as best she can, bracing an arm around her back to sit her upright.

“Miss? Miss?” Akari taps her cheek gently. “Miss, are you all right? Miss, please wake up.”

The woman’s face is still before her brows wrinkle, and after a moment, she slowly, oh so slowly, opens her pale eyes. Then she groans and curls inward.

“You’re hurt!” Akari wraps the woman in her arms and, finally aware of more of her surroundings than just herself, she hears footsteps behind her. A quick glance back reveals a handful of Ganma people, ones who must live nearby. “Please help me. She’s injured.”

A man kneels next to her and sets a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Let me carry her. My daughter can go ahead and tell Queen Alia that we need emergency medical care.”

“Okay.” Akari doesn’t want to let the woman go— something demands she stay right here with her, and not let anyone else touch her— but she knows the limits of her own physical strength and it’s a long walk back to the palace. “Please be careful with her. She’s hurt, possibly badly.”

The man smiles and tips her a nod. “Of course, Miss Akari.”

He lifts the slender woman with relative ease and Akari walks beside him the entire way to the palace, trying to catalogue the extent of the woman’s injuries. She might be a scientist, but Alia had insisted that even basic medical care would be useful to her, and she agreed when she thought of how easily an experiment could go wrong. None of the wounds she can see look too deep or too serious, no visible blood soaking through her clothing, no would-be bandages tied around what could be serious wounds. Maybe it’s just bruises, aching from her crash.

Alia meets them at the edge of the town, a regal queen to be sure, the sun shining on her dark hair, robed in white and fur. When her eyes find the woman, her gaze softens. “Oh my,” she whispers, then quickly gathers herself with such finesse that Akari is impressed. She always is. “Take her to the medical wing. I’ve only sent for doctors to come attend to her.”

Akari tries to go with him, but Alia catches her by the arm and tightens her grip enough that Akari skids to a stop. “What is it?” she asks, trying to keep her voice calm.

“I’m going to send some of my own scientists out to examine the ship to make sure nothing about it is dangerous or lethal, and to make sure it won’t explode from the damage it has sustained,” Alia tells her. “In other words, I have it under control. Please go see to her.”

“Thank you,” Akari says, and if her voice sounds uncharacteristically breathless and relieved, Alia says nothing to her, only smiles softly at her and nods.

The medical wing of the Ganma palace has more advanced technology than humanity can hope to achieve in this lifetime without serious help— that Akari is trying to provide— and all of the doctors there recognize her when she steps in. A nurse leads her to the room where the silver-haired woman is already tucked into a bed, clutching the blankets to her slim frame so tightly she looks as though she fears what might happen to her here. Akari clears her throat softly from the doorway and the woman lifts her head and looks at her.

“I’m sorry to lag behind,” Akari apologizes. “The Queen wished to speak to me. Are you well?”

“I sustained no serious damage from the crash. I was simply tired.” The woman eyes her uncertainly before slowly sitting up in bed. “You were the woman who found me?”

“Yes. I saw your ship passing through the sky and tried to catch up as quickly as I could. May I come in?” Akari waits for the woman to nod before she steps into the room, sitting in the chair positioned by the woman’s bed. “My name is Akari Tsukimura.”

The woman continues to study her before she chooses to speak. “Echidna. Of the Ophiuchus System.”

“So you aren’t from earth after all.” Akari releases a breath she did not know she had been holding and relaxes in her hair, neatly crossing one leg over the other. “I didn’t think you were, but… The Ophiuchus System? The constellation of the serpent? I didn’t realize there was… There are planets out there? With people that live on them?”

“Your people are not aware of such things, I gather.” Echidna sighs softly and brushes a long strand of hair back behind her ear, her expression troubled. “I suppose that is par for the course as I entered the black hole without knowing what would be on the other side. My ship is damaged from the attack, and the holes can close rapidly. This may be my new permanent home.”

It takes Akari a few minutes to wrap her mind around Echidna’s words; a black hole, an attack, a close… And it rocks her to her core, the realization of it all. This woman had flown directly into a black hole to escape her attackers and is now stranded on a world that is not fit to help her return to her own. The thought is startlingly sad, but Echidna seems almost unaffected by this knowledge. She simply nods once to herself before leaning back against the pillows behind her, though not without wincing. Just what had happened to her?

“You said you didn’t sustain these injuries from your crash,” Akari says instead, not wanting to pick at what might currently be a sore spot for Echidna. She has much more class than that, after all, and Echidna has obviously been through an upsetting situation. “Where did you sustain them, then? I assumed the cuts had come from when you crashed.”

Echidna looks up at her with her curiously pale eyes, and Akari has the sense she is looking through the surface level more than just looking at her. “It is a long, long story,” she says in lieu of an actual answer, though the corner of her mouth twitches ever-so-slightly. “If you think you have the time to listen, perhaps you’d be interested to learn of a world very unlike your own.”

The scientific part of Akari trembles in excitement at the thoughts and she has to fight very hard to remain under control, though she can’t stop herself from grinning as she leans forward. “If it won’t tire you out, I’d love to hear whatever you have to tell me.”

* * *

There is nothing that can be done to repair her ship, a reality Echidna had accepted before they ever told her the truth. She had landed on an earth that had no contact with the universe outside of itself and who lacked the technology to get much further than their own solar system, much less to the universe beyond. So she lets the Ganma dissemble and study her ship.

She has no hope of returning home to her own planet. The reality is sobering in and of itself; she had wanted to reacquaint herself with the ways of her people and understand why they had been so afraid to express emotion, the destruction this had wrought upon them all.

Instead, she finds herself learning about a planet that had once faced its own similar destruction when people from another world had come to help them survive. She learns about Takeru Tenkuji and his sacrifices to save people who had tried to destroy his world and his people, and she learns about Akari Tsukimura and her hard work that had saved the atmosphere of this planet and returned it to its purer original form from a poisonous red sky that had threatened to kill all of the people who resided beneath it.

She expects to be treated like the anomaly she is here, but Echidna finds nothing but peace and happiness in the people, people who treat her kindly and assist her when she finds herself lost in their city or confused by their customs. And she finds emotion here, too, like what she saw when she found herself working alongside the Kyurangers. These people are happy and warm, quick to smile and laugh, the children running through the streets, calling after one another, yelling in the warm air, joyous as can be. Echidna thought she might find answers here, but she finds herself confused, even more confused than she was standing across from Naga and seeing what he had become, what he had made her feel in what might have been her final moment. The people here understand that, at least; they had clawed desperately for their own salvation and had been unwilling to let themselves die.

Sometimes, she remains within the castle walls, comforted by the darker confines and by the quiet, the peace that resides here. It reminds her almost of home; Queen Alia is real and possesses an iron self-control that impresses even Echidna, but it only puzzles her more when Alia softens around her friends and family, smiles with them and laughs with them. Hadn’t she seemed almost sad when she told Echidna they could not help her return home?

This world is large and expansive enough that sometimes she finds herself retreating further into the castle, into the laboratory that Akari Tsukimura works within when she finds herself captivated by a new puzzle she must pull apart at the seams. This, at least, Echidna can understand. Her people had made quick advances when they suppressed their emotions, but being here with Akari makes her almost wonder if that had been worth it. When Akari finds something she does not understand, her face scrunches up, but her eyes shine with determination and she tackles her new problem from every angle until she finds the solution. Sometimes, Echidna simply sits and watches her work, watches her eyes glow when she figures something out, watches her lips curl upward in a smile that seems to warm her entire face. She watches her and tries to understand what she sees in front of her.

She doesn’t understand, not fully. But she finds herself understanding Akari Tsukimura a little better with each day that passes.

“I don’t understand,” she confesses one evening when the world outside of the windows lining the room have darkened significantly and stars have come to life in the black velvet sky. “And I am trying to understand. This was something Naga was willing to stake everything on, and I thought I understood him when we were children. But I do not understand this.”

Her words have Akari’s spine straightening, and she tugs her glasses down the bridge of her nose, tucking them down the front of her shirt as she shrugs out of her laboratory coat. There is fatigue clear in the lines of her body and the slower, more careful way she moves as she hangs her coat up and puts her things away. Echidna stands to help her, knowing where most of these tools belong from having been here so often, watching her work, watching her set up and pack away each morning and each night. The only time she isn’t here is when Akari returns to her own world through the magic of a portal only a handful of Ganma can control.

“You mean you still don’t understand emotions,” Akari finally says when her lab station is neatened, and she props her hands on her hips, standing taller and straighter than she has before. Echidna cocks her head, watching her curiously. “That’s fair. On your planet, after all, they didn’t want you to have them. But you told me a long time ago, when we first met, that you understood fear. That Naga made you understand fear, and then the Jark Matter attack…”

Echidna nods, folding her hands in front of her. “Fear… Is easy for me to understand.”

Akari stretches a hand out toward her, and the Ophiuchus people have never been particularly touchy with one another, but Echidna catches her hand, their fingers weaving together as if by memory alone. “Fear is easy to understand when it’s fear of death. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who isn’t afraid to die, even those who know when their time is almost up.” Her eyes flash with a bevy of emotion that Echidna has no hopes of grasping. “It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Echidna wishes she had a way to explain exactly what goes on within her mind, and then inspiration strikes her. She keeps her hold on Akari’s hand and leads her over toward the window, fumbling it open with her one free hand. It never occurs to her to simply take her other hand back to use both of them. She leans out into the cool air, points skyward. “Like those stars. I can see them, I can read about them and try to learn about them. But I cannot touch them.”

“No, no, no. That’s hopeless. You can’t touch stars even if we develop the technology to get closer to them. They’re hot, they’ll burn you. Emotion isn’t like that, but I guess… It must feel that way to you.” Akari sighs softly and squeezes Echidna’s hand, and though the gesture is simply a gesture, it makes Echidna feel oddly warm. She doesn’t have a word for this, but she  _ feels _ it. “I suppose your planet’s history must make you feel that way, too.”

Echidna thinks of what Akari had told her about the Ganma world before they had saved it— the poisonous air, the ruins, the world crumbling into pieces and monsters swimming through the skies— and nods. “It’s all I’ve ever been taught. Our world almost collapsed because of it.”

“It’s not like that, though.” Akari is quiet for a moment. “It didn’t have to be that way, anyway.”

She turns and sweeps an arm around the room. “Like this. Science… It seems devoid of emotion to so many people, but it makes me happy. I like challenges and puzzles and I love using what I learn to help people. If this didn’t make me happy, I don’t know that I’d still do it. Desire, emotion… It doesn’t  _ have  _ to fall apart at the seams like it did in your world.”

Echidna is quiet at those words and hardly notices that Akari still has her hand firmly in her grip until Akari pulls her forward, pulls her through the door of the lab and down the hallway. This late in the evening, most are asleep, though the night guards have taken up their post and nod to them as they walk by. There’s a strangely secret smile on one of their faces and Echidna puzzles over that before Akari leads her outside into the night, the cool air making her shiver slightly. Akari looks back at her, as if asking if she is okay, and Echidna quickly nods.

“Concern is an emotion, too,” she says, and Echidna blinks at her, not quite understanding. “I was worried about you being too cold out here, especially with the fact you’re a serpent. That’s an emotion. That isn’t going to topple an entire world, now, is it?”

Echidna has no reply to that, but in her mind, she knows that no, such an emotion would not topple a world. It had not even occurred to her that colder nights in this world might be too much for her; her people have a far more temperate climate that affords them the luxury of not having to constantly monitor their own body’s temperature to make sure death does not come more swiftly. Traveling is what makes it difficult, but even then… She had not thought of it, and Akari had, and when she had trembled, Akari had looked to her with worry in her eyes. Echidna had been taught that emotion was dangerous, a weapon of its own unique design, but she cannot see how something so gentle and warm could be used to kill.

“Look at this world.” Akari turns them both around, and Echidna looks at this town raised back to life by its people. “They feel everything you’ve been taught to fear. Are they dangerous?”

They had been, once, that much Echidna knows, but they had also been raised to believe something, had been taught by their king to accept something as truth, had they not? And now… “No,” she says, because she has been living beside them for over a month now. “No, they are not dangerous. And their world has been thriving.”

Akari nods and smiles, and her eyes shine the way they do when she finds the missing piece to make an experiment go the way she wants it to go. “Exactly. Emotions don’t have to be dangerous. They don’t have to be weapons. Feeling is… It’s natural. You know that it is.”

“It must be natural for our people have worked hard to suppress it, and I doubt that we would fight something that is not a part of ourselves.” She thinks back to Naga, and his friends, and how happy they had been to have him back. How happy  _ he _ had been. “I understand that.”

“You don’t have to suppress anything here. No one is going to be hurt because you let yourself open up to new experiences and feelings. I can promise you that.” Akari takes her other hand and squeezes them both, and Echidna feels that warmth again, tugging at her chest.

She focuses hard on that warmth that curls through her body and seems to wrap most firmly around her heart, making it beat faster, but this time not with fear. Perhaps a little fear; perhaps there is something that makes her hesitant, even shy about this encounter. But it isn’t total fear, and it isn’t the ruling emotion here. Excitement might be more proper, but still not quite. Fondness… Fondness for this human woman who wants to free her from herself.

It’s new but warm and firm and sure inside of her, and Echidna closes her eyes so she can focus on it better, on the way it makes her feel… More properly, on the way this woman makes her feel. Akari had found her falling from her own ship and had been worried for her even then, had allowed Echidna to accompany her in her laboratory when surely she would have preferred to work in solitude and not have to answer so many questions. She had always listened to her, to her concerns and confusions and questions, and she had answered as she could, and been there as a source of comfort if she could not do anything else.

“You understand a little better now?” Akari asks her, and Echidna opens her eyes and looks at her, at the hopeful expression on her face, at the way her eyes glitter like the stars above.

“I think I understand,” she says, and the way Akari smiles at her makes the warmth in her chest deeper and hotter and she thinks she understands that, too. Understands it well enough to lean in closer, pausing, suddenly unsure of herself. But Akari isn’t, and she pulls Echidna close enough that their lips meet not quite seamlessly, not quite perfect, but it’s good just the same.

Akari kisses her back with more passion than Echidna has felt in her life, but she  _ wants _ to.

She has experienced so little of this warmth and passion that seems to comprise this entire world but in this moment, she can admit to herself that she  _ wants _ to. Fearing death had told her more than she wanted to think about at the time, but she wanted to live.  _ Wants _ to live. And this is an intrinsic part of life, and she wants to experience it, all the layers of it.

“There you are.” Akari cups her cheek, and Echidna leans into the touch. “The real you.”

Echidna doesn’t know what that means, not yet, but she has an idea just the same. “The real me,” she echoes, and a smile comes naturally to her face. It feels strange in and of itself, not just the gesture but the warmth that it echoes within her, but she likes the way it feels. “With you, I think I may be able to discover more of myself as time passes.”

Akari kisses her again, and whispers against her lips. “I’ll be right here to help you. Together, we’ll figure this out. I promise you that.”

Echidna believes her.


End file.
